Mother to 4, doula, healer, postnatal specialist based in the heart of County Durham, UK.
I equip mothers with the tools and support they need to reconnect with themselves and feel whole again. Motherhood ceases to be an endurance exercise to survive – it becomes an opportunity to thrive as a woman and a parent.
I've been working with women and families in the Northeast of England since 2005.
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Core desired feelings
light, connected, wild, free, love
Q & A
Q: What are your Core Desired Feelings?
Light. Connected. Wild. Free. Love.
Q: How / where did you Desire Map? What did you love about doing it that way?
I connected with the Desire Map first through the book, then the workbook, and the planner. In the end it was the planner that really hooked me, reeled me in, and changed my life for the better.
Ultimately I did the full process using the audio CDs from Sounds True. What I liked was being guided through the process - and being able to do the work in sessions that let the thoughts and feelings settle in between times. I liked being surprised at my answers. I loved that eventually the words and the feelings came...and that since they have come, my life is changing, almost like magic, to reflect that resonance and flow.
Q: Tell me a specific story about how knowing your CDFs has changed your life.
It's January 2018, winter in full force, and it's dark. Dark outside in these Northern winter days, and my life feels pretty dark too. I'm solo mama to 4, including a little guy who is the absolute light of our hearts who has Down Syndrome (along with related medical and developmental issues). I've given up work to care for my kids because it felt like the only logical thing to do as the juggling was getting too much.
The truth is, I'm downright exhausted. I've lost hope. I'm drowning, losing my self in the midst of being 'mother'.
I can't even name what I want to feel, I just know what I don't want to feel: overwhelmed, exhausted, unable to cope, isolated, alone. I've actually given up on myself, caught up in the restrictions. I know I've gone astray but I can't see how to get back.
All the 'inspiration' out there doesn't fit me, doesn't understand the limitations and pressures of my life circumstances. It leaves me frustrated, angry, resentful.
But I've still got my Desire Map planner. I decide I'm going to use it. I don't do the process at first, I just take those feelings and I distill them down into the feelings I need most: rested, organised. These become the spark, the compass that opens the door to change.
I'm gradually able to name my feelings again, those I want, those I don't. I sift through the past and the present, working with the audio CDs, and come back to what I truly want to feel:
Light. Connected. Wild. Free. Love.
Now I've got a gauge and a compass, my decisions are clearer, my heart opening and life filling with possibilities once more.
Q: Why are you passionate about sharing this work with others?
I feel like as women and as mothers there is so much pressure and restriction placed on many of us. 'Motherhood' isn't always quite what we expect it to be, and what is potentially a point of power and joy in our lives can become quite the opposite when the responsibilities and restrictions of lived motherhood swallows our potential as individual women with our own identities and lives.
I know the Desire Map can give us what we need most -- an opportunity to connect with our internal knowing and remap our experience so that we can be fully who we are meant to be.