As a corporate coach, trainer, and leader for more than 13 years, I understand the challenges of managing a pressure-filled career with raising a family and nurturing a long-term relationship.
I am passionate about developing emotional intelligence and I help women apply the insights to rekindle a sense of aliveness and create love that lasts. Through the Desire Map, I'm able to guide women to more clarity and satisfaction in amongst all the striving.
I write for a number of online publications about The Desire Map, marriage, divorce, love and desire. To date, my articles have struck a chord with more than 60,000 readers, many of whom see themselves reflected in my stories.
Over-thinking, margaritas, and the ocean are some of my favourite things.
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Core desired feelings
spacious, wonder, luxe, magnetic, steady
Q & A
Q: What are your Core Desired Feelings?
Spacious, Wonder, Luxe, Magnetic, Steady
Q: How / where did you Desire Map? What did you love about doing it that way?
I chose to Desire Map for a few hours each evening after the kids were in bed. I'd tuck myself into the white linen sheets, propped up against my pink velvet cushions, and I'd journal by lamplight. I found the soft light and the quiet of the night soothing, and it helped me ease into the process. It felt safe and in that space I could reveal my truest, most vulnerable self.
Q: Tell me a specific story about how knowing your CDFs has changed your life.
About 5 years ago I was sitting in my therapist's office after my husband of 12 years left our marriage after coming out. I was overwhelmed with heart-searing pain, confusion and fear.
'How much of my life was a lie?' I lamented more than once, while at the same time mourning the loss of the future I had envisioned and planned for. I had no choice but to live in the present during this time. I literally focused only on each passing hour.
What I feared most was that the resentment and hurt would burrow deep. I feared it would make me bitter and would diminish the amount of love I could give to my kids, who were only 3 and 5 at the time.
I said to my therapist, 'He told me I'm cold and unloving and selfish. That I'm controlling and cranky, and he's not wrong! I am like that alot of the time. I don't want to live like that.' He replied, 'How do you want to live then?' He gave me homework to write all the words that resonated with me on my bathroom mirror and to look at them every day until our next session. To feel them. He also said, 'These qualities are already within, you've just got to find them again. Let them be your guiding light.'
And so I wrote a dozen words on the mirror and over time whittled them down to six. They became my light when it was so dark. When I felt I lost everything and my entire life had been taken from me, they empowered me to take steps to reclaim my version of me, the truest parts of my soul. They helped me cling to the goodness when the anger and hurt flushed through me. It felt doable to focus on feeling a certain way and they became something I could trust when everything else was uncertain.
Q: Why are you passionate about sharing this work with others?
As a writer who has a special interest in love and desire, my work has often sparked countless heartfelt conversations with women about the challenges of being in (and out of) relationships. A common theme quickly emerged - a great deal of women are feeling disconnected, exhausted and numb.
I see this work as a beautiful way to get off the hamster wheel, dig deep into your soul, and figure out goals that align with your deep desires and purpose. It's my hope that this will be the seed to reconnect women to themselves and their loved ones.